Thanks For Putting Up With My Shit (Every Bloody Christmas)

Intro
Yeah…
It’s that time of year again.
Where I pretend I’m emotionally stable
For about nine minutes.
And you pretend you believe me.
Let’s go…

Verse 1
Every Christmas you look at me
Like you’re bracing for incoming fire.
You’ve survived my moods, my mess, my mouth,
And all my “fuck it, I’ll do it later” lies.
I’m chaos wrapped in tinsel,
A festive pain in the arse.
But somehow, every bloody year,
You let my bullshit pass.

Pre-Chorus
Grab the sherry, love — you’ll need it,
’Cos I’m already about to lose it.

Chorus
Thank you for puttin’ up with all my shit.
Honestly, I don’t know how you cope with it.
From my pissed-off mornings to my late-night rants,
To me tripping over the tree ’cos I’m half-cut — again.
Yeah babe, it’s true…
I’d be fucked without you…
And the mountain of shit you put up with.

Verse 2
Remember last year when I torched the roast?
Smoke alarm screaming like it saw a ghost.
And I swore so loud the neighbours heard,
Then blamed the oven — like a complete turd.
I lost your present behind the sofa,
Found it in March with a half-dead coaster.
And yet you still kiss me under the lights,
Like I’m not an annual Christmas catastrophe in tights.

Pre-Chorus
And when I scream at the fairy lights,
You just sigh and pour the wine — you’re right.

Chorus
Thank you for puttin’ up with all my shit.
My tantrums, my laziness, every hit.
From me whining in Tesco ’cos the queues are long,
To singing Slade off-key like I’m twelve drinks strong.
Yeah babe, it’s true…
I’d be lost without you…
And every ounce of shit you put up with.

Bridge
So here’s my card — don’t roll your eyes.
It’s the one time of year I actually apologise.
You hold my life together like dodgy tape on a gift,
You’re a bloody miracle for puttin’ up with this.

Final Chorus
Thank you for puttin’ up with all my shit.
I’m still a mess, I fully admit.
So Merry Christmas, love — pour the booze,
You’re a saint, a legend, and completely misused.
And babe, it’s true…
Every bit of my shit lands on you.