Merry Christmas, You Beautiful Prick

🎵 Verse 1
You walk in actin’ all moody,
Like Christmas owes you somethin’ deep…
Rollin’ your eyes at the fairy lights,
Lookin’ like you just need some sleep.
But baby, even when you’re grumpy,
Even when you’re actin’ thick…
I look at you and I can’t help thinkin’
“God, you’re a beautiful prick.”

🎵 Pre-Chorus
You’re spiky like a cactus,
Got that sharp-tongue holiday sass…
But every time you smirk my way
I’m still checkin’ out your ass.

🎵 Chorus
So Merry Christmas, you stupid prick —
You know I say it with love.
Yeah, you’re rude, you’re stubborn, you’re chaos, babe,
But you fit me like a glove.
Merry Christmas, you stupid prick —
You’re the trouble I always pick…
I should wrap you up and return you…
But damn, you make my heartbeat kick.

🎵 Verse 2
You burn the Christmas dinner,
Call the turkey a “useless twat,”
Kick off at the TV listings
And blame the dog for this and that.
But even when you’re ranting, babe,
You’ve still got that festive glow…
Like a cactus with a bow on top,
All prickly — but stealing the show.

🎵 Pre-Chorus
Yeah, you’re sarcastic, loud, dramatic,
You’re a walking Christmas wreck…
But every time you pout at me
I wanna kiss you on the neck.

🎵 Chorus
Merry Christmas, you stupid prick —
No one winds me up like you.
But no one makes me laugh that hard
Or gets me flustered like you do.
Merry Christmas, you stupid prick —
You’re a nightmare, but you’re my pick…
I should put you on the naughty list…
But baby, that’s where you look slick.

🎵 Bridge
Underneath that cactus skin
There’s a heart that’s warm and true…
You hide it well, you pain in the arse,
But I know it’s there — I do.
And every time you hug me tight
All the spikes just fall away…
And for all your prickly chaos, babe,
I wouldn’t change a single day.

🎵 Final Chorus
Merry Christmas, you stupid prick —
My favourite nightmare of the year.
You roast my patience every day,
But somehow pull me near.
Yeah… Merry Christmas, you stupid prick —
You sarcastic, sexy, festive brick…
You drive me mad — but I adore you.
Now come give me that Christmas kick.