Little Prick Christmas 🎵

(Funny + sarcastic, with that smooth slow-jam swagger)

[Verse 1]
Baby, it’s Christmas, the lights are low,
I’m feelin’ all festive, thought you oughta know…
You walked in smilin’, lookin’ proper slick,
Had me thinkin’ “Merry Christmas…
to you and your little prick.”

[Pre-Chorus]
Yeah you’re trouble, but you’re my kinda trouble,
Even when you act like a prat on the double.
But somehow, babe, you still make me tick—
Even when your temper’s bigger than your dick…

[Chorus]
Happy Christmas, you cheeky sod,
You drive me mad, but I swear to God—
I love you, even when you take the piss,
Come here, you little prick,
Give me that Christmas kiss.

[Verse 2]
You leave your pants on the floor,
Eat the snacks I hide,
You fart like thunder,
You’ve no shame or pride…
But there’s somethin’ ‘bout you
That just hits right,
Even your little prick
Looks festive tonight.

[Pre-Chorus]
You’re chaos wrapped up
In a bow and a grin,
But Christmas wouldn’t start
Till you walk in.
And yeah, you’re a muppet—
But you’re my muppet, quick…
Now get over here,
You lovable little prick.

[Chorus]
Happy Christmas, you cheeky sod,
You drive me mad, but I swear to God—
I love you, even when you take the piss,
Come here, you little prick,
Give me that Christmas kiss.

[Outro]
So here’s to us,
And our messy life,
You annoying bastard—
But I’d still be your wife.
Raise a glass, let’s have a laugh real quick…
Merry Christmas, baby—
You and your little prick.