Unicorn Farts & Christmas Hearts

(A Cheeky, Magical R.-Kelly-Style Christmas Song)

[Verse 1]
Mama, you shine like tinsel on a winter’s night,
Got that Christmas sparkle, yeah, you always get it right.
From your hugs to your wisdom, you’re pure delight,
Like a unicorn fartin’ rainbows, girl, you’re outta sight.

[Pre-Chorus]
Every year you make the season glow,
With your love, your laugh, your mistletoe.
And I just wanna let you know —
You’re the magic in the snow.

[Chorus]
Ohhh, Merry Christmas, Mama, you’re my superstar,
Brighter than a rainbow shootin’ from a unicorn’s arse.
You make the season warm, you make the season smart,
You’re beautiful, colourful — pure Christmas art.
Yeah, Mama… you’re my Christmas heart.

[Verse 2]
You put the “merry” in the madness, the joy in the cheer,
You’re the Queen of Christmas every single year.
Hot cocoa sweetness when the cold comes near,
Girl, you’re even better than a reindeer with a beer.

[Bridge]
When the snow starts fallin’, you’re the light I see,
You’re the star on the tree of our family.
Sprinklin’ love around so effortlessly —
Mama, you’re magic… that’s the destiny.

[Final Chorus]
Merry Christmas, Mama, you’re my superstar,
Brighter than a rainbow shootin’ from a unicorn’s arse.
You’re the present that I treasure, yeah, you set the bar,
A miracle wrapped in laughter — that’s just who you are.
Ohhh Mama…
My Christmas heart, my Christmas star.