My Wet Pussy (The Christmas Surprise)

(suggestive, cheeky, adult humour, but not explicit)

Verse 1

Baby, I’ve been planning something,
A little festive tease for you…
Wrapped up in a Christmas card,
With a cheeky point of view.
You know I love to wind you up,
Yeah, I play that naughty game…
And when you open up that picture,
Boy, I know you’ll say my name.

Pre-Chorus

You’ll be laughing, you’ll be blushing,
You’ll know exactly what I mean…
Cos I always find a way
To keep our Christmas… interesting.

Chorus

Inside’s a photo of my wet pussy, baby —
Yes, my cat in the sink again, acting crazy.
Drippin’ all over the floor like she owns the place,
Looking up at you with that soaking-wet face.
My wet pussy, giving you a holiday grin,
Merry Christmas, babe —
Let the mischief begin.

Verse 2

She’s always jumping where she shouldn’t,
Splashing water everywhere…
Posing like she’s doing Vogue,
With shampoo in her hair.
You’ll swear she did it on purpose,
Just to make your season bright…
Cos nothing says “I love you”
Like the chaos of our life.

Pre-Chorus

I know you love my sense of humour,
That silly, flirty spark…
So here’s a photo guaranteed
To make your Christmas start with a bark.

Chorus

Inside’s a photo of my wet pussy, baby —
My troublemaking cat who’s always crazy.
Caught her mid-bath, looking like she’s seen a ghost,
Dripping down the tiles like she’s doing the most.
My wet pussy, yeah she never behaves,
Merry Christmas darling —
Here’s the laugh that you crave.

Bridge

So light the tree, pour the wine,
Let’s make the night feel right…
Cos you and me and that daft little cat
Are the best part of Christmas night.

Final Chorus

Inside’s a photo of my wet pussy, baby —
She’s the furry little queen of driving us crazy.
Hope this silly little gift
Makes your holiday glow…
Merry Christmas, sweetheart —
Just wanted you to know.