Merry Christmas Knob-Head 🎄

Verse 1
It’s Christmas time, the lights are on,
The beer’s gone flat, the turkey’s gone wrong.
You’re snoring loud on the sofa bed,
With tinsel tangled round your head.

Pre-Chorus
The dog’s just sicked up on the rug,
Gran’s pinched the brandy, needs a hug.
You’ve wrapped my present in B&M bags,
And labelled it wrong — you daft old fool!

Chorus
Merry Christmas, knob head!
You’ve drunk all my wine again!
You said you’d just have one, you liar,
Now you’re dancing naked by the fire.
Merry Christmas, knob head!
The worst Santa in town,
But I’ll raise my glass and love you still,
You festive drunken clown.

Verse 2
The kids are crying, the telly’s broke,
You’ve set fire to your paper crown, you joke!
You’re pulling crackers with yourself,
Then blaming the elf on the shelf.

Pre-Chorus 2
You’ve eaten all the mince pies too,
And nicked the scratch cards — that’s so you!
You’re singing “Fairytale of New York”,
But it sounds more like a dying stork.

Chorus
Merry Christmas, knob head!
You’ve nicked my pigs in blankets!
You farted under mistletoe,
Then called it “Christmas spirit”, though!
Merry Christmas, knob head!
You loveable disgrace,
Here’s to another year of laughs,
You daft git — same old face!

Bridge
Come New Year’s Eve you’ll say again,
“I’m off the booze, I swear, my friend.”
But by the second of January,
You’ll be legless, loud, and merry.

Final Chorus (big sing-along)
Merry Christmas, knob head!
You’re chaos wrapped in lights!
You make a mess but life’s not dull,
With you it’s never silent night!
So Merry Christmas, knob head!
I’ll toast you with my beer —
Cos even though you’re daft as hell,
I’m glad you’re here this year!