All The Cock You Want for Christmas

🎵 Verse 1
Girl, you texted me your wish list,
Said you wanted something big…
Something warm for winter mornings,
Something you could ride like a sleigh on a jig.
You said, “Baby, bring me presents
That are long, and thick… and mine…”
I said, “Damn, girl, calm it down,”
You said, “No — make it Christmas 69.”

🎵 Pre-Chorus
You don’t want tinsel, you don’t want snow,
You just want something that stands up tall.
Forget the turkey — stuff your stockings…
With the one thing you love most of all.

🎵 Chorus
You want cock for Christmas,
Yeah baby, I heard you loud and clear.
You want cock for Christmas,
More than mince pies, mulled wine or cheer.
You want cock for Christmas —
Enough to last you through New Year’s Day…
Girl don’t worry, Santa’s coming,
And he’s bringing cock your way.

🎵 Verse 2
You don’t care about the carols,
You just wanna hit them high notes.
You’re jinglin’ all my bells, girl,
Like your hands are taking votes.
You said, “Baby, bring me options,
I want variety under my tree…”
I said, “How many we talking?”
You said, “Enough to make an elf say ‘Jesus, me?!’”

🎵 Pre-Chorus
Girl, your stocking’s hanging empty,
But your smile is full of sin,
You said, “Give me something magical…”
Well damn — let Christmas begin.

🎵 Chorus
You want cock for Christmas,
Wrapped in nothing but a bow.
You want cock for Christmas,
Rockin’ round your mistletoe.
You want cock for Christmas,
And baby, I’m here to save the day…
You’ve been naughty all year long,
And I’m rewarding you the filthy way.

🎵 Bridge
So get under that blanket,
Light the fire, dim the lights…
I’ll be your festive miracle,
And I’m staying here all night.
You said, “Baby, pile it higher…”
So girl, don’t lose your grip —
’Cause Christmas only comes once a year…
But I can come more than that on your trip.

🎵 Final Chorus
Cock for Christmas —
Baby, you’re hungry for the feast.
Cock for Christmas —
You want the whole damn North Pole beast.
Cock for Christmas —
Girl, Santa’s on his filthy sleigh…
And he’s sliding down your chimney
In a very special way.